Coalfather Industries

WE HAVE ELECTRIC TOOTH BRUSHES, SONIC TOOTHBRUSHES, MANUAL TOOTHBRUSHES, TOOTH PASTE, TOOTH POLISH, TOOTH WHITENER, TOOTH GEL, WHITENING BLEACH, MOUTH RINSE, DENTAL FLOSS, DENTAL PICK, DENTAL IRRIGATION SYSTEM, MOUTH GUARD, WHITE STRIPS, GUM STIMULATOR AND MORE! COALFRIDAY SALE THIS THURSDAY! SHOP NOW!

WE HAVE ROSES, BOXES OF CHOCOLATES, LADIES UNDERGARMENTS, SATIN ROBES & PILLOWS, JEWELERY SET, JEWELERY BOX, CASHMERE SWEATER SET, FUR MUFFLER, BOTTLES OF CHAMPAGNE, FUR TEDDY BEAR, SATIN PAJAMA SET AND MORE! SHOPE COALFRIDAY SALE! THIS THURSDAY!

WE HAVE ANOINTING OIL, BANNERS, CANDLES, COMMUNION WAFERS, ROBES, CHALICES, MYRRH, INCENSE BURNERS, OFFERING ENVELOPES, CLERGY SUPPLIES AND MORE!! COALFRIDAY SALE AT COALFATHER INDUSTRIES THIS THURSDAY! SHOP EARLY!

WE HAVE DIAPERS, PASSIFYERS, BREAST PUMPS, VASELINE, SPIT-UP CLOTHS, ONESIES, STROLLERS, SWINGS, BASSINETS, MOSES BASKET, BIB, HIGH CHAIR, BOUNCY SEAT, AIR PURIFYER, HUMIDIFYER, SAFETY CORNERS, CAR SEAT, INFANT HEAD SUPPORT, NURSING PILLOW, BABY SLING, BABY FRONT CARRIER, BABY BACKPACK, LAYETTE AND MORE! COALFRIDAY! THIS THURSDAY! DON’T MISS IT!

WE HAVE SWORDS, GUNS, TRUNCHEONS, BAYONETTES, CLEAVERS, AXES, AWLS, ICE PICKS, BONE SAWZ AND MORE!!!!!!!!!!COALFRIDAY! THIS THURSDAY! DON’T MISS IT!

WE HAVE APRONS, BLUE TUBS, PLASTIC BADGES, WOODWORKING EQUIPMENT, JARS OF PASTA SAUCE, CHEESE WHEELS, TOOTHPASTE AND MORE!!! COALFRIDAY! THIS THURSDAY!

Coalfather Industries Gluten-free Panties on sale COALFRIDAY! SHOP EARLY!

Please come to the Coalfather Outlet store at 6pm on Thanksgiving day. Bring your cat. The secret code is “Spend more to save more” and you will get a 20% discount off everything!

Spencer, please keep in mind this is a family-oriented message board.

Postum, you may have been driving near our experimental goat farm. Please do not let this leak to the press. A representative will be following up with you soon.

We, at Coalfather Industries extend our deepest sympathies and wish for a speedy recovery for young Tad. Please let us know if we can be of assistance.

Yours is a common affliction. We recommend Ingestidol!

CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME CAN COST YOU YOUR HAPPINESS! YOU NEED A WILL TO LIVE! #WILL2LIVE #PHARMACOPIA #MANIA #DAMIDOL

MADNESS IS JUST AN OLD FASHIONED WAY OF SAYING “MENTAL ILLNESS” NO SHAME THERE! #PERKIN IT UP #SMILETIME #DAMIDOL

SADNESS IS A DISEASE CHARMIN! YOU NEED A THERAPEUTIC REMEDY! #DAMIDOL #DRY MOOD # HAPPY PILLS

YOU SOUND LIKE YOU MIGHT BE IN NEED OF A PHARMACOLOGICAL CURE FOR THAT! #DAMIDOL #SSRI #SNRI #OPIATE #CANIBALIANOID

WHAT YOU GOTZ? SADNIZ? #ANTIDEPRESSANT #DAMIDOL #HAPPY PILLZ

THAT DEMON NEEDS #DAMIDOL #SEDATION #TRANQUILYZER